Our own space

When I stop for long enough to sit and think about what it will be like to be in my own space again - to have 4 walls that we can fill that doesn’t require others to move aside or out I feel like I did as a kid on Christmas Eve - sitting through the Christmas Eve service as a little girl was difficult, as I knew presents were to follow directly after the service.  We did presents on Christmas Eve and stockings on Christmas morning.  

It’s been humbling to live in other people’s space.  Rob and Lyn and their selfless generosity of their home for the 4 months that we were there was a provision that the Lord knew we needed.  With my rapidly worsening Meneire’s when we arrived and the reality that Josh was going back to Turkey without us at the end of our “vacation” that had been planned for 8 months, the Lord worked out and paved a way to get the boys and I back to the States and home to Grand Junction with Josh’s help.  Because of the length of time we’d chosen for our trip back to the states, there wasspare time for Josh to help us get settled in before he left, and being in the States on that vacation saved us from the chaos of the early morning hours evacuation that so many of my precious friends endured without the help of their spouses. 

The Lord knew.  He always does.

I’m thankful for our time in Junction - being able to experience spring time in a place with four seasons that reminds me OH so much of my childhood home town.  I’m grateful for the chances to see family and friends that we wouldn’t have been able to spend time with had returned to Turkey.  Shelby, I will forever treasure the two weeks that you came to be with me and the boys.  What a blessed bright memory you are during that sad transition.  Mom and Dad, thank you for the trips that you made down to love on me and the boys.  Rob and Lyn, thank you for the countless hours of cooking, cleaning and loving on me and the boys that you graciously walked through while letting us take over your house.  Jacob, thank you for playing with your nephews and giving them much needed male attention, and for putting up with us infiltrating your living space.  Cara - I love that we got so much time together!  What a blessing to get to know my sweet sister better and to have the privilege of watching you prepare for your move to China in a patient and Godly manner.  

Mom and Bill, thank you for loving on us during our stay with you in the mountains.  It was good to get some time with you - it's been too many years!

Dad and Mel, thank you for filling our cupboards and fridge down here with every type of gluten free food I could ever dream of, and enough food for the boys and I to last while we are here.  What fun it is to be here and spend time with you in the evenings and to be able to invite old friends to visit and enjoy the pool with us on these hot Cheyenne summer days!  Your home is a peaceful respite in the storm!

Currently, the boys and I fill out my Dad and Mel’s basement nicely, our stuff strewn about.  There’s always in the back of my mind the tinge of worry that I need to keep the place neat and tidy - not because I want it that way, but because it’s someone else’s space.   Though I’ve been reassured it doesn’t matter, I still work at it.  

all of these spills took place within 3 short minutes after sitting down

I’m ready to have my own space that I clean because I want it clean, not because I feel badly that I’m taking up someone else’s space and maybe they will feel the need to clean it because I’m not.  I think about the refugees - how there’s really not a light at the end of the tunnel for them.  We are in the final countdown of Josh being in Turkey.  If all goes as planned (I hate even saying that), he will meet us in Omaha on the 11th of August.  That is SO close!  So within reach!  We had to Minot from there and will spend a bit in a TLF (temporary living facility) until we are given a house on base - it will likely be around 4 months until our household items arrive.  That’s about how long it’s taking people to get their stuff right now.  

It’s just stuff - I’ve grown uncomfortable with the excitement that comes when I think about seeing our “stuff” again - I don’t think it’s the stuff itself, but more what it represents.  Home.  Family.  Being together - finally.  I’ve been making lists of things for Josh to mail to Minot for us so we don’t have to repurchase all the essentials like our kitchen items and linens.  On the list I asked him to mail our box of fall decorations.  Not that I’m opposed to purchasing or making some new ones, but our old ones are familiar and will make it feel like home when all our furniture is still over the ocean somewhere.  

Judah is pacing the carpet in the living room and as I type this and watch him I realize that is much of how my heart feels right now.   Pacing, pacing, pacing.  Waiting, waiting, waiting.  

Wait patiently on the Lord.  His timing is perfect.  

He works everything for good for those who’ve been called according to His purposes.  

I wonder what our purpose will be in Minot.