A better Sunday
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Sundays have been a little rough since leaving Florida. There we had found a church body that we'd connected with in multiple different ministries and programs. It is the church body home of many of our dear friends from that season of life. People that had great impact on our lives and our children's lives. On Sunday nights starting about 6 months into our time in Florida we started meeting with a few other families for "home group". We were always pleased with and surprised by our joint ability to bring together some seriously awesome meals. Everyone brought something, themed or not. But more importantly, we felt secure and able to be open, honest and vulnerable with each other at levels that can only come about with time. We love each of those families dearly and cherish their friendships deeply. Leaving "home group" remains much of the reason it was so painful for me to leave Florida. I hadn't felt that connected with a group of believers since attending Covenant Bible College in 2002/03. That type of community, I believe, is how God intended for things to be. Feeding each other spiritually, emotionally and supporting each other's families in multiple ways. Sure, we had our downfalls, but it is a group of people I will forever hold dear. Dooleys, Pennys, Grays, Kennedys and Ruppels - I will forever cherish our time with you in community.
So, leaving that Sunday routine, going to our church body there in Florida, attending dynamic sermons and worship times while knowing our children were being fed and growing spiritually through the work of the incredible group of volunteers that ran the children's program - then on to Sunday school with families that we'd met when initially trying out the church - and then on to "home group" that evening -
leaving THOSE types of Sundays was difficult on a level I was expecting but not prepared for. Chapel here, the service we attend, is the "Protestant/General" service. It's totally and completely non denominational, which we actually like. There are faces we don't know, faces we recognize but cannot recall the names of, and faces that are a relief to see there because we'll have someone to do more than small talk with at "meet and greet" time. Josh may not be as uncomfortable about meet and greet as I am. He's a social kind of man. He goes to a crowd to meet new people. Meet and greet is only slightly less than completely intimidating for me. We go, we sing, we shake hands, we go get the older boys from children's church (sounds like its up to us to get a nursery program going - so for the mean time it's trying to keep Joel quiet through the service), we leave and come home. No Sunday school, no home group to get ready for in the evening. It's been a serious struggle for me. The first Sunday we attended, I cried from the time we left the church until I fell asleep for a nap after laying the boys down for their snoozes. Then I cried most the afternoon and went to bed that night, completely exhausted with stingy puffy red eyes. And then I made the mistake of looking at the clock and realizing that had we been back in FL we would be meeting with Home Group right then. It wasn't a pity party - it was just pure grief at the loss of a beautiful season of life.
Today -
We threw banana bread muffins in the oven and made fried eggs to go with them. Joel and I went out for a brisk morning stroll after breakfast and were greeted by wonderfully chilly weather and misting rain on our faces. He is THE most delightful walking partner I've had, ever. He prefers to have his stroller seat facing me, so I switched it around last weekend and he's been happy as a clam ever since. We talk about the 'beepths' (boats), the "shysh" (fish) and he pretended for a good 5 minutes to talk to someone on my iPod (that was playing Mozart) about a truck that was apparently in trouble. He took his conversation very seriously and would just look away and nod when he saw me smiling at him. We left for church on time, got there on time and FINALLY remembered to bring Joel's backpack with some distraction methods inside. We actually received remarks about how quiet he was during service. After the service there was a fellowship time where local pastries and coffee were served. It made it feel more......community-y than just the normal attending and then leaving. It was a good change. This afternoon we went to the swim hole, played in our beautiful yard (its growing on me - I know, I sound like a spoiled little American girl saying that I miss our Florida backyard with its huge privacy fence and deck), ate dinner outside (the boys did) and Josh got the second garden area ready for the boy's pool (which spoke VOLUMES of love to me - for some reason).
Perhaps I'm writing this all more for my own records - props if you've made it this far. It's long and kind of drones on.
I got all three boys showered (lijah is showering himself now, which is fan.tast.ic!) and to bed while Josh worked on leveling the stubborn rocky garden. I felt patient, energized (way more so than most evenings) and rejuvenated - this after two full days, today being the worst, of feeling like I'm back in first trimester. That yuck car sicky feeling that lingers and dampers everything. I took a zofran and 20 minutes later felt like a new woman. Josh hooked up the AFN to our borrowed tv (after digging it up from the "bottom house" and drilling a hole through our porch door jam to feed it through up here) so he fired up some pre-season football this evening. I lit a fall scented candle after he told me I wasn't allowed to light a pumpkin candle yet - football and pumpkin scented candles go hand in hand for me. - and now I'm writing this. And now it's time for bed. Because it's 10 here. Five o clock in Florida and 4 o clock in Colorado/Wyoming. But here it's ten, which is weird, and I'm tired. We love you all (if you've made it this far you definitely deserve reading that) and thank you for your continued prayers.