Back dating number quatro - Not as easy as Sunday's had been

I tried to tell him they'd changed the service to 10:30, but he insisted and we went at 9:00.  It was Catholic Mass, so we left and drove around a bit.  We ventured out the gate and to a small cafe on the street side.  Smoke filled the air as the eager shop guys served us what we asked for, in broken english that they seemed to mostly understand.  The boys were oblivious to how grungy the joint was, and we enjoyed their naivety.  

Church started quietly with all unfamiliar faces and different routine.  The boys left for "children's church" and we kept back Joel being that there is not childcare for under 3 years.  We spent the entire service in the "cry room" with him, in his attachment disorder he'd started developing shortly before we left Florida.  We left church, after some abbreviated social time after with people we don't know. Small talk is SUCH a challenge for me - but small talk has to proceed relationship.  It's a struggle for me to be patient through the initial phases of relationship.  I desperately want back the Sundays of Florida.  The sundays of 2 1/2 hour childcare for all three children where we know they are being steeped in His Word.  The older two are getting that - but Joel.  

I desperately want back Sunday evenings saturated with open hearts, vulnerability, shared culinary skills, beautiful relationship.  It all takes time.  But is there time? Is one year or barely more enough?  It is if He chooses it to be.  It's hard to not be in control.  Botched it would all be if we were.  He is the master of all things beautiful. The ultimate creative one.  The ultimate heart healer - the one with who we should be most vulnerable.  Earthly relationship has no place at the level at which we are to be community with Him, yet I still long for those relationships back.  I miss them so.