A first grader and his mom. And the other two littles.
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I grew up with this idea of homeschoolers being COMPLETELY socially inept individuals. The very small amount of exposure that I had as child to other homeschool children were kids that I viewed as being "weird". I don't know any of those individuals today, or how they function in life, but I'm sure they are all doing quite well. What I do know is that my view of homeschooling changed drastically when we moved out of our tiny town of Powell Wyoming to the BOOMING metropolis (my view of it at 15 years old - being a small town girl) of Cheyenne Wyoming. The first homeschool family I had exposure to after moving happens to be the very family that I married in to. It didn't take me long to see the advantages, as well as all the long list of reasons I was totally and completely jealous of their homeschool upbringing. I remember, as an irrationally emotional and insecure middle schooler BEGGING my mom to homeschool me. I have no idea of the reasons that made her answer, "no", but I wasn't ruined because of it. I praise the Lord for my time in that building named "Powell Middle School" and the social skills it taught me. However, I find myself mourning the loss of what I believe could have been a better school environment for me - one on one attention. It most certainly isn't for every mother to do, and it most certainly isn't for every child to experience, but I do feel like I could have benefitted greatly from being taught at home during that period of my life.
I had a minor breakdown yesterday, after sitting through naptime and organizing our "office" in our new home here on the island. Its the last room to be organized in our "upstairs house" (where we spend all our time). I LOVE being organized (I know, Mother dearest. This is hard to believe after years of you feeling completely out of control about my closet piled high with scavenged trash). I placed all my "curriculum" on shelves, separated into subjects and activities that go along with those subjects. I have my big fat planner that I'm using and completely LOVE! It's all arranged and ready to go. I sat and admired my ability to grow from being a packrat to what I would consider being a minimalist (for me, at least - not counting the boxes upon boxes of JUNK in the down stairs house we have yet to organize).
I glanced at the curriculum all lined neatly on the shelves. I turned my swively office chair around and organized a drawer. That drawer was done, so I turned back and looked at the curriculum again. I considered what NEEDED to be done and swiveled back around to organize another drawer. After an hour in the office there was nothing more to organize. Nothing but my brain. And that dreaded curriculum.
We are using KONOS in-a-box (just about as simple, fun and straight forward as you can get - and perfect for a mother like me, who hasn't a CLUE how to teach a first grader), Sing Spell Read and Write - which is FUN. It is. It's fun. I WILL like it and I WILL do it. HE likes it, depending on his mood. And the day. He HAS to learn to read. He may learn slower than others and I don't give a rip, but something has to help him learn to read, and we chose SSRW - because once again - it's about as straight forward and simple as you can get. For math we chose Saxon. Because that's what my husband bought. It's reeeeeeally easy. I've often skipped over several lessons in a row, because of how ridiculously easy the concepts are. I mean, REALLY easy! (Today we did 3 lessons - there have been days we've done 5) And he gets really excited when I pull that HUGE math book off the shelf. I broke pencils in half in pure rage over simple math problems, back in highschool. I.hate.math. But how to do you hate First Grade Saxon math as a 30 year old. A little pitiful, but it still intimidates me.
So, getting it all organized. I sat down and opened the KONOS box for the first time. I HATE reading instructions, forwards, Who Wrote This and Whys, "How-tos". You name it. I would rather just skip ahead to the first lesson and dive in. This is where my emotional breakdown came into play. I didn't read ANY of the how-to of the Konos instructors book. Instead I skipped to the first day and read was I thought I was supposed to accomplish - in one day. Two and a half pages of small print full of singing, science activities, dancing, bible reading and explanation....and the list goes one. FOR ONE DAY! The panic set in. My heart sped, my ears got hot, and I could feel the, "okaaaaaaay, okaaaaaaay" mantra cycling in me head. I should have walked away and come back and read the How-To. But I didn't. I looked at SSRW, the amount of lessons left in the Saxon book and the KONOS day to day work and I FREAKED! How in creation am I supposed to get ANYTHING else done. How am I supposed to see my other children. You know, those little ones that are SO completely NOT independent. How am I supposed to EVER clean the house, or do laundry, or fix dinner, or breeeeath!?!?!? THERE'S NO TIME FOR ANYTHING BUT SCHOOOOOOL! School scares the jeebers out of me! I still, almost 12 years out of highschool, have nightmares about school. 5 years of college didn't help me feel better about it. It just made it worse. STILL! BAD DREAMS about assignments completely forgotten - or worse - CLASSES completely forgotten until FINALS day!
Notice all the capitol letters. That's how serious I am about it. School is scary for me. AND NOW I'M TEACHING IT!
I had to drop this because I ran out of time to write
Now it's two whole days later.
Elijah and I have completed three mornings of school work, successfully and with good attitudes the majority of the time. Within the first five minutes of the first morning I had a two year old screaming at me because......I don't actually remember why. And Judah has screamed in my face three times because.....he was tired? Emotional? I'm not actually sure why he freaked out. I sat down and thought, "MY GOODNESS! If this is how every morning is going to go I'll be toasted within the week!" But the mornings haven't gone that way. And the rest of that morning didn't go that way. The first morning took us a few hours, but the second morning we were done will all our school work in one hour.
Tada.
I never embellish anything. I'm not dramatic at all. Just ask anyone who knows me. (hear the sarcasm go drip, drip, drip) Well, that's probably all that's reading this, because who else would care?! And those who KNOW me may have not even made it this far.
I overreacted.
And it's going to me fine.
I had a minor breakdown yesterday, after sitting through naptime and organizing our "office" in our new home here on the island. Its the last room to be organized in our "upstairs house" (where we spend all our time). I LOVE being organized (I know, Mother dearest. This is hard to believe after years of you feeling completely out of control about my closet piled high with scavenged trash). I placed all my "curriculum" on shelves, separated into subjects and activities that go along with those subjects. I have my big fat planner that I'm using and completely LOVE! It's all arranged and ready to go. I sat and admired my ability to grow from being a packrat to what I would consider being a minimalist (for me, at least - not counting the boxes upon boxes of JUNK in the down stairs house we have yet to organize).
I glanced at the curriculum all lined neatly on the shelves. I turned my swively office chair around and organized a drawer. That drawer was done, so I turned back and looked at the curriculum again. I considered what NEEDED to be done and swiveled back around to organize another drawer. After an hour in the office there was nothing more to organize. Nothing but my brain. And that dreaded curriculum.
We are using KONOS in-a-box (just about as simple, fun and straight forward as you can get - and perfect for a mother like me, who hasn't a CLUE how to teach a first grader), Sing Spell Read and Write - which is FUN. It is. It's fun. I WILL like it and I WILL do it. HE likes it, depending on his mood. And the day. He HAS to learn to read. He may learn slower than others and I don't give a rip, but something has to help him learn to read, and we chose SSRW - because once again - it's about as straight forward and simple as you can get. For math we chose Saxon. Because that's what my husband bought. It's reeeeeeally easy. I've often skipped over several lessons in a row, because of how ridiculously easy the concepts are. I mean, REALLY easy! (Today we did 3 lessons - there have been days we've done 5) And he gets really excited when I pull that HUGE math book off the shelf. I broke pencils in half in pure rage over simple math problems, back in highschool. I.hate.math. But how to do you hate First Grade Saxon math as a 30 year old. A little pitiful, but it still intimidates me.
So, getting it all organized. I sat down and opened the KONOS box for the first time. I HATE reading instructions, forwards, Who Wrote This and Whys, "How-tos". You name it. I would rather just skip ahead to the first lesson and dive in. This is where my emotional breakdown came into play. I didn't read ANY of the how-to of the Konos instructors book. Instead I skipped to the first day and read was I thought I was supposed to accomplish - in one day. Two and a half pages of small print full of singing, science activities, dancing, bible reading and explanation....and the list goes one. FOR ONE DAY! The panic set in. My heart sped, my ears got hot, and I could feel the, "okaaaaaaay, okaaaaaaay" mantra cycling in me head. I should have walked away and come back and read the How-To. But I didn't. I looked at SSRW, the amount of lessons left in the Saxon book and the KONOS day to day work and I FREAKED! How in creation am I supposed to get ANYTHING else done. How am I supposed to see my other children. You know, those little ones that are SO completely NOT independent. How am I supposed to EVER clean the house, or do laundry, or fix dinner, or breeeeath!?!?!? THERE'S NO TIME FOR ANYTHING BUT SCHOOOOOOL! School scares the jeebers out of me! I still, almost 12 years out of highschool, have nightmares about school. 5 years of college didn't help me feel better about it. It just made it worse. STILL! BAD DREAMS about assignments completely forgotten - or worse - CLASSES completely forgotten until FINALS day!
Notice all the capitol letters. That's how serious I am about it. School is scary for me. AND NOW I'M TEACHING IT!
I had to drop this because I ran out of time to write
Now it's two whole days later.
Elijah and I have completed three mornings of school work, successfully and with good attitudes the majority of the time. Within the first five minutes of the first morning I had a two year old screaming at me because......I don't actually remember why. And Judah has screamed in my face three times because.....he was tired? Emotional? I'm not actually sure why he freaked out. I sat down and thought, "MY GOODNESS! If this is how every morning is going to go I'll be toasted within the week!" But the mornings haven't gone that way. And the rest of that morning didn't go that way. The first morning took us a few hours, but the second morning we were done will all our school work in one hour.
Tada.
I never embellish anything. I'm not dramatic at all. Just ask anyone who knows me. (hear the sarcasm go drip, drip, drip) Well, that's probably all that's reading this, because who else would care?! And those who KNOW me may have not even made it this far.
I overreacted.
And it's going to me fine.