life is like that
/
I suppose it rings true in every area of life, but with children it just seems to stare me in the face every day. Being a stay at home mom means ALL day every day.
He's my third. The surprise baby when I was CERTAIN I wasn't ready for another. Since day one he's been compliant, quiet spirited, and so joyful. Even months past his 2nd birthday, he remained the absolute easiest out of the three boys. Through confusion, transition, upheaval - all of it. He remained joyful and calm. I remember wondering, a number of times, if he was just going to float through the difficult toddler years like this. Being always joyful and REALLY easy.
Until about 4 months ago.
It all seemed to come crashing down -
and now he's making up for lost time.
My mama heart is sad.
He now drives forward every day with a raging independence that would hurt any mama's heart. He screams, he hits, he seems to be constantly looking to pick a fight or assume that someone else is looking to pick a fight with him. He grabs and steals, pushes and hits.
He is a (almost) 3 year old boy. And he's learning JUST how independent he wants to be.
I wrote a post about Elijah right after we moved to FL and he had just turned 3 years old. I was SO thrown off by the crazy behavior we were getting from him - I'm quite certain if I took the time to search back and find that blog entry I could copy it word for word over to this post.
The difference?
The difference is that now, instead of struggling to see the keyboard through tear filled eyes and a discouraged and confused heart, I can type this with the reassurance that he will come through it. That his precious little 3 year old brain doesn't have a crap clue what the heck is happening, or feeling. I can write it knowing now, having brought 2 older brother's through the struggle, that I ought not assume he should know better - because he doesn't. That has to be taught.
And teach we will.
Hopefully with more patience and grace than the two before him.
Only by the grace from OUR teacher. Our Creator.
But then there's other times. Times like at our night time ritual where I rock and we sing in our old amish rocker in his room. He curls up small and presses as hard into me as possible with his face buried deep. His little heart exhausted from a day of pushing me away.
We will come through this.
Hopefully with more patience and grace than the two before him.
Only by the grace from OUR teacher. Our Creator.
But then there's other times. Times like at our night time ritual where I rock and we sing in our old amish rocker in his room. He curls up small and presses as hard into me as possible with his face buried deep. His little heart exhausted from a day of pushing me away.
We will come through this.
And for the first to pass through the struggles that a flighty toddler head brings - blazing through on the other side - with a huge spot of hope of change - Elijah has just recently taken a HUGE interest in helping. He helps at all chances, with a WONDERFUL spirit about it - without being prompted. Just randomly. He'll clean and pick up and take notice when something needs to be done. He's responding the correct way almost every time he's addressed. He's getting breakfast on the table on the mornings where I'm late feeding Luke. This morning he got Joel out of bed, dressed him and put breakfast on. It was truly encouraging. And quite astonishing, to be honest. He's seeking to look outside himself. He told me this - just the other day - "today, I am going to try from every day now to look at what OTHERS need. Not just me."
A sigh of relief. And a praise.
A sigh of relief. And a praise.
He finally seems to be delighting in school - EVEN the "hard" things.
Change is here. It may not be permanent, but it's starting, and for this wiped mother of 4 bustling boys - it came in the nick of time!
Thank you, Jesus, for helping me see this.
Thank you, Jesus, for helping me see this.